There are two equally important truths that you need to know about yourself.
The first is that you are completely unique. No one in the history of the world has ever had your DNA or has lived the life that you are currently living. Along with the Psalmist you can say with absolute confidence… “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).
The other truth is that despite your uniqueness the struggles you face are not unique to you. The details and circumstances might be but the core issue, whatever it is, is not. Writing to a very dysfunctional church the Apostle Paul says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Knowing both truths is actually a beautiful and freeing thing, with one caveat. You have to see them in light of your relationship with Christ and unfortunately far too many Christians do not.
Too many of us look in the mirror and we see who we are not instead of who God made us to be. We compare and contrast ourselves with others and get depressed because we’re not like them in looks, skills, influence, etc. In this way we know we are unique, but we actually wish we weren’t.
And then there is our struggles, which again, aren’t unique at all but we think that they are. Let me tell you, this thinking leads to one destination; depression and despair. As a pastor I can’t tell you how many people reluctantly, often out of a final desperation, share about their struggling marriage, financial crisis, or the grip of addiction in their lives (porn, alcohol, drugs). And the crazy thing is they think they are the only ones dealing with these struggles. Let me tell you, you are special but not that special. There is no sin or struggle that is unique to only you, but if you believe that to be true… what a horrible burden to carry!
And this is an age old trick of Satan. He will whisper in your ear a thousand times, “If people knew this about you…oh how horrible that would be.”
But that’s not true either. In fact, on any given Sunday there is someone in our church who is either dealing with or has dealt with the same sin, the same darkness, the same struggle as you. Satan doesn’t want you to know that. He’d rather you suffer in silence. He’d rather you believe your marriage can’t be joyful, your porn addiction can’t be overcome, or that your loneliness will last forever. But none of those things are true. You are not alone. Again, while you are unique, your struggles are not.
So what should you do?
If you find yourself silently struggling, break the silence! You don’t have to put on a happy face and carry the burden quietly. The Christian faith is a team sport and the church of Jesus, our church, is full of people just like you who are ready to encourage, listen, and empathize with what you’re going through. So reach out, you are not alone! In God’s kingdom the way up is down. By humbling yourself, admitting your need, and breaking the silence you take the power away from Satan and make room for the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in your life.
God is in the business of transforming both our situations and our sight. He wants you to see yourself rightly, as a beloved and unique child of his. And he wants to replace your struggle with joy.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
- James 4:10
* If you are ready to talk, cry , pray please reach out!